East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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