i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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