the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
