i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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