He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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