I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
