hell yes lets make some ravioli
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
