can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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