I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
