Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
