in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
