i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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