What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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