i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
