I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
