you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
