I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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