She's JV to your varsity
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
