this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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