I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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