I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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