the day after is always just damage control
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
