My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
