After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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