i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
