my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He shit in the fireplace
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
