just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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