yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
