I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
