you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He kissed a someone with a penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
