So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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