hotel room ftw
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
