I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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