you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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