would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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