i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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