At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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