Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
