Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
