i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Pooping to opera.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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