This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
