if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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