Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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