Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
