D3 body, D1 cock
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
