It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
