idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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