ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
