I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
