You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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