dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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